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Call Sign December 2011
Another batch of views from Tom that do not necessarily reflect the views of DaC...
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TOM WHITBREAD
`Court' by the goolies!
received the pills and oramorph - which is liquid
morphine - at midnight. This took effect rapidly
At the end of August this year I received a large
and lasted until 3.30am when the pain returned.
buff coloured envelope in the post. These annoy
I spent the rest of the night walking around the
me as they are either bills, junk mail, Inland
ward trying to get some relief. At 7am I asked if
Revenue or contain some other way of ruining my
there was any chance of food as I had not eaten
day! Opening the envelope, I was transfixed by
since Saturday afternoon except for the two half
the statement in big bold letters: JURY SUMMONS.
potatoes on Sunday. I had to see a consultant
I have always been excused in the past due to my
previous occupations, so it did not worry me. But
and have a CT scan first. The scan was complet-
after phoning the jury service office, I was told
ed within the next 2 hours, but still no food.
some fool had changed the law back in 2005 and
Luckily my day nurse, another nice African
now I had to attend! The location was Wood
nurse, kept me supplied with cups of tea. While
Green Crown Court on October 10 for a period of
sitting around and waiting, I used the time to
two weeks or 10 working days. About the middle
inform the County Court of my incapacity to fill
of September, I received a phone call from a lady
my jury duties as I was in hospital. They asked
telling me she had changed the location of my
how long I would be unable to attend and I
jury service to Snaresbrook Crown Court. I
replied a couple of days at least.
explained that at my age it would hard for me to
The consultant prescribed a tablet that was
killing tablets I had taken had little or no effect
find that court, so it would be much better to
hopefully going to enlarge the tube that the stone
on relieving the now unbearable pain.
leave me at the previously agreed court. I knew I
was trying to pass through and also allowed me
I continued taking them through Sunday, hop-
could get to Wood Green Court in 20 minutes
to continue with the pain relief. But no food till
ing the pain would soon subside and I could
from home via public transport.
4pm. When I saw it, I was shocked. It looked as
return to a normal existence. I am not the type
So on the day, I arrived at 9am suited and boot-
though it had been reheated in a microwave
of person who will call out an emergency doctor
ed. As I approached, the security officers said
about four times with the butter sauce in which
unless it is a last resort or when I think that I
`This way Sir' and I thought what polite employ-
the cod was laying burnt dark brown. At least the
know the cause of my pain.
ees these people were. But the welcome was not
pain eased a little during the evening, but all I
My wife had cooked a beautiful Sunday roast
extended to all the people that were negotiating
wanted to do was have a good night's sleep. But
with all the trimmings, but I could only digest a
the metal detector arch. It wasn't until the next
even in a hospital, this was not about to happen
couple of crisp roast potatoes and this was all I'd
day I found out they thought I was one of the bar-
as a patient in the next bed with a broken leg,
eaten since mid-afternoon on Saturday. By
risters! I followed the directions and ended up in
decided to have a series of nightmares and by the
4.30pm Sunday I'd had enough of the pain, which
the canteen with some 100 other jurors, as they
time we were halfway through the night, I was
I was sure emanated from a piece of gravel or kid-
have 10 working courts in the building.
almost ready to break his other one!
ney stone trying to pass through my body. So it
For some 60 minutes I sat in the canteen watch-
By the time the consultant did her rounds at
was then I called the emergency doctor.
ing a video thanking me for volunteering for jury
8am, I was climbing up the wall both with tem-
I spoke to a lady who tried to put me off see-
service; that could not have been further from the
per and hunger, all I wanted was to get out of
ing the doc, but my insistence informed me that
truth! Me volunteering? I think not! A tannoy mes-
hospital and go home. The consultant enquired
a GP locum was based at Homerton Hospital
sage filled the canteen asking for people to vol-
about the pain, which was now a mild ache. She
until 6pm, so I got myself down there and was
unteer for a long case and out of the large num-
asked if I thought that I had passed the stone?
examined by a doctor who reminded me of a
ber of prospective jurors, they got 4 volunteers. I
This got me thinking of the old pin ball machines
young Desmond Tutu. He gave me a tiny bottle
was hiding under the table at the time.
at Southend where you released a ball and
for a urine sample, although I always dread that
The next message was for the following names
watched it shoot around the machine into a high
unless they also give you a pair of rubber gloves.
to come forward and follow an usher to a court
scoring hole. I had visions of me having a Jimmy
After all, what do they expect you to do once the
so that a Judge could address them. I, who had
Riddle with the stone shooting out and ringing its
tiny bottle is filled? The doctor tested the con-
never even won a raffle, was one of the named
noisy way around the porcelain bowl! As the pain
tents of the bottle with a diagnostic colour
persons! There were some 24 people in the group
had almost gone, she said I could go home. So I
changing plastic strip. I asked him to look to see
who listened to the Judge. He said if we had a
was out of bed and got dressed for departure.
if I was pregnant. The look of shock on his face
hardship that would bar us from sitting on this
But my happiness was short lived when the
was a delight to view, but he agreed with my
long case, then to let it be known on the form
doctor said I would have to wait for a letter and
self-diagnosis and thought I had a kidney stone.
provided. Those selected should have a good
some tablets. I asked for a prescription which I
He asked me to wait and see a consultant on the
comprehension of the English language both in
could get dispensed elsewhere, but this was not
surgical team. It was now 6.15pm and the pain
reading and speaking. It was then I should have
to be as regulations stated I had to wait until the
was increasing. I couldn't sit in any comfortable
stuck my thumbs in my ears and waggled my fin-
hospital pharmacy brought the tablets up to me.
position in the waiting room, so I spent the next
gers like a person akin to an inmate of Bedlam.
The time was 9am and patients were waiting for
3 hours walking round the hospital car park.
But no, the first person this friendly Judge select-
hospital beds, but they could not have mine until
ed was Thomas Whitbread! After selecting anoth-
I was fully checked out and that didn't happen
Hungry, in pain and a grumpy
er eight, he hit us saying the case could last 8
until I received the tablets - at 5pm! A wasted 8
weeks. He then let us go home - I think to let us
judge... otherwise life's great!
hours in which another patient could have been
get over the shock but to return at 10am.
treated. The hospital treatment was expertly
At 9.05pm I was called into casualty and exam-
As a juror, you are not allowed to publish or dis-
administered, but the system was crap and you
ined by a surgical SHO who also agreed with the
cuss the essence of the case, but I can inform you
could see the total waste of resources.
diagnosis. He said I needed a CT scan, which if I'd
that on the next day we were presented with two
My second shock of the day was when I found
been there before 9pm I could have had that
large arch lever files jammed packed with sheets of
out that our friendly Judge had suspended the
night. I informed him in no uncertain terms that I
evidence, with another to follow and during the fol-
trial for two days until my return, so I knew
had been there for the last 3 hours, which didn't
lowing weeks these would be gone over repeatedly.
where I would be the next day. As I write this,
seem to bother him. But he said I would need to
At the end of the second week, I didn't feel
we have reached our sixth week of a very long
be admitted and that didn't please me! I asked if I
too good as I travelled home on the under-
and tiring case and I am thinking of asking the
could go home but the doc explained that if I did
Judge if he knows the telephone number of
ground, but didn't really think much of it - big
that and the stone blocked the path, it was in fluid
Dignitas in Switzerland! Hopefully by the time
mistake! During the Friday evening and night, I
and could back up and even kill me! So with my
you read this article the case would have fin-
had an ever-increasing pain just above the left
wife giving me serious GBH of the ear, I stayed.
ished and I will have my life back again.
hipbone in my back. Through the daylight hours
To humiliate me further, they put me in a wheel-
May I take this time to wish you and all your
chair to be taken to the ward.
of Saturday this developed into a serious ache,
family a very Happy Christmas with a healthy
Once there, I was introduced to my night
which every so often had the feeling of a ragged
and prosperous New Year...
nurse - a very nice African lady; my first request
dagger being thrust into the above stated area.
was for some type of medication to quell the
Sleep was furthest from my mind as I lay in bed
Tom Whitbread
pain. The request was made at 9.30pm; I
on Saturday night, wondering why the pain
DaC Board Member
