Call Sign December 2011
Page 16
LOOKING AT (TAXI) LIFE
with Tom Quigley (Y33)
Queuing isn't
Getting the economy moving.
In this time of austerity for some, we look to Captains of Industry to
working...
drive the economy forward. There are those with natural moneymak-
Those of us who remember the
ing skills, others are educated at the best universities and schools the
Saatchi advert proclaiming that
world has to offer. So what is involved in the quest to squeeze money
Labour isn't working will remem-
from our wallets and encourage spending and what about the annoy-
ber the iconic image of a large
ing stupid questions that these brainy educated sales management
queue of people applying for
teams ask their poor staff on the front line to endure.
jobs. Today, in these times of austerity, it is almost ironic as we once
Buy a newspaper and you are met with a do you want a book of
again face the spectre of large numbers of unemployed (albeit not hid-
stamps or a bar of chocolate with that? In my local chip shop, the staff
den in other statistics) that those who are actually in that position now
have to ask if we want mushy peas with our order even if someone is
form large queues to spend or access their money in those large cor-
only buying a soft drink. If they don't, apparently they have to give you
porate companies that are behind the current climate!
some mushy peas and the assistant probably receives a reprimand.
During lunch breaks at every bank, post office and even ATMs, we
Then there is do you want a bag for life, under the subtle guise of sav-
are met by queues due to not enough staff being employed or insuffi-
ing the planet (whilst they hide the takeaway bags under the counter),
cient funds in the cash dispensers. The design of banks would give you
but that 10p is obviously handy.
a clue as to how they have disregard for queues; how often do you go
For some time now, I have been putting in £20 worth of fuel in my
to a bank that will have several cubicles to discuss the latest saving or
taxi to get me going. At one time, this would have got me through into
insurance promotion, an ATM inside, more chairs to sit on than there
the next day but alas those times are now gone. Even the £20 seems to
are teller's windows of which one is usually closed! Then there's man-
be impossible to achieve. No matter what service station I fill up at the
agement staff in smart suits asking as you stand there if they can help
pump never stops at £20 exactly! I have tried and tried slowing the fill-
save you queuing by going to an automatic paying-in machine?
ing process down as it gets to £19.98/99, but as soon as I go that minis-
"Yes," you want to shout out, "open another window!"
cule further it always goes to £20.01p.
Go to any large DIY or department store and you have to search
So I have come to the conclusion that £20 would probably be an
around for assistance from some poor employee on minimum hourly
average amount of fuel to fill up with and therefore, I wonder if the
wage who has to deal with irate customers frustrated from queuing
fuel companies are deliberately calibrating the pumps to never stop at
for their attention - only to be answered with a sorry we're short of staff
exactly £20 to generate a huge amount of daily income? Spread across
answer or that the person who deals with that department is away.
the 9,000 petrol stations in the country, this is definitely a way of look-
Customer service sections are contradictory to the whole concept of
ing after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves but for
their existence! Most of these have insufficient numbers of staff to ser-
them and not us!
vice the customers. God help if you have to collect a letter from a sort-
Have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year...
ing office on a Saturday, guaranteed there will only be one member of
staff. You also have to bring various forms of ID to prove who you are!
I would have thought the sheer fact that someone would stand for half
an hour to collect an underpaid/oversized birthday card with their
name on it would be enough proof!
If you need to phone a company, you are met by a recording: "Sorry,
but due to high demand all our advisors are busy." Add to that the usual
fact that our call is important to them but obviously not that important.
It is estimated that the average person will spend 67 hours a year queu-
ing, which is almost three days. Assuming we only queue when awake
and discount that time, probably 25% of that would be leisure queuing
(if there is such a thing) ie in a bar or a concert etc. That still leaves
approx 50 hours of work time queuing, which in reality means that every
working person loses over a week of their working life every year.
As individual companies strive to make savings, surely it's time for
government to take stock of the larger picture and invest in making
sure more people are employed to reduce this total waste and drain
Albert Bridge reopens!
on the economy.
After almost two years of heavy congestion caused by the closure of
Albert Bridge, it finally reopens on Friday 2 December. It closed in
February 2010 and at one point looked as though it would stay closed
until next autumn.
At a cost of £7.2million, the bridge should now be as good as new
having taken 10,000 bolts and some 40,000 litres of paint...
